None of us can honestly say that no one ever gave us anything or helped us. It's natural to feel grateful. However, if the benefit we receive comes with strings attached, we may feel the burden of gratitude rather than the warm glow a truly free gift inspires.
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Perhaps we are grateful to a parent. Maybe a coworker has offered an opportunity or given us a great review. All is fine if the gift is given freely. Virtue is its own reward in many cases, and we can simply say 'Thank you' and go on. However, often there is an emotional bill to pay, or a 'tit for tat' expectation which demands reciprocation.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
A coworker may have a right to expect equal favors in return for favors done. However, if these expectations mean that they hold a grievance if they don't get 'paid back', they are expecting more than gratitude. Their bad manners or poor judgement don't automatically let you off the hook, but you may want to be cautious about receiving favors in future. If their expectations include wanting you to cover for improper behavior on their part, things are even harder to handle.
Sometimes simple good manners can take care of the situation. Write your detestable aunt a thank you note or acknowledge the favor at work quickly. The next step is to let things go on as before. If you are out on your own, your parent's gesture may be a bid for attention. Only you can tell if you should visit or call more often. It's possible that, if they make you feel ungrateful, you really are.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Perhaps we are grateful to a parent. Maybe a coworker has offered an opportunity or given us a great review. All is fine if the gift is given freely. Virtue is its own reward in many cases, and we can simply say 'Thank you' and go on. However, often there is an emotional bill to pay, or a 'tit for tat' expectation which demands reciprocation.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
A coworker may have a right to expect equal favors in return for favors done. However, if these expectations mean that they hold a grievance if they don't get 'paid back', they are expecting more than gratitude. Their bad manners or poor judgement don't automatically let you off the hook, but you may want to be cautious about receiving favors in future. If their expectations include wanting you to cover for improper behavior on their part, things are even harder to handle.
Sometimes simple good manners can take care of the situation. Write your detestable aunt a thank you note or acknowledge the favor at work quickly. The next step is to let things go on as before. If you are out on your own, your parent's gesture may be a bid for attention. Only you can tell if you should visit or call more often. It's possible that, if they make you feel ungrateful, you really are.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
About the Author:
When you are searching for information about the burden of gratitude, visit the web pages online today. More details are available at http://belaabel.com now.
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire