It can be all too easy for well-meaning individuals to be manipulated into relationships that they did not want or simply did not intend. When a person seems to go out of their way to help another, sometimes their intentions are not exactly generous. They may simply be wanting to draw that person into an entanglement by manipulating them with the burden of gratitude.
Even the simple act of going on dates can bring an unwitting individual into such a scenario. Customarily, the man has always paid for the dates, leaving the female a sense of indebtedness to him. Many unscrupulous men will use this fact to manipulate a woman into sex, claiming that she owes him for the money he has spent on her.
Going Dutch is an excellent way to avoid this sort of manipulation. In fact, women are warned to be wary of men who refuse to allow them to pay for their own meals. If a girl cannot afford to pay for her own dinner, it might be best to simply not accept dates until she is more financially solvent in order to avoid this type of manipulation.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents even use this exact tactic to control the choices their children make. By offering free housing and help with school tuition or child care, many parents will attempt to control who their kids date or what degree they pursue. Sometimes they might even try to establish curfews for children who are much too old to legally bound by such restrictions.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
Everyone needs assistance at different points in their lives, so we are all vulnerable to being manipulated at that time. In our greatest times of need, sometimes it is better to seek the assistance of strangers. Co-workers, friends, family, and especially exes may not really be helping us in a way that sees to our own best interests.
Even the simple act of going on dates can bring an unwitting individual into such a scenario. Customarily, the man has always paid for the dates, leaving the female a sense of indebtedness to him. Many unscrupulous men will use this fact to manipulate a woman into sex, claiming that she owes him for the money he has spent on her.
Going Dutch is an excellent way to avoid this sort of manipulation. In fact, women are warned to be wary of men who refuse to allow them to pay for their own meals. If a girl cannot afford to pay for her own dinner, it might be best to simply not accept dates until she is more financially solvent in order to avoid this type of manipulation.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents even use this exact tactic to control the choices their children make. By offering free housing and help with school tuition or child care, many parents will attempt to control who their kids date or what degree they pursue. Sometimes they might even try to establish curfews for children who are much too old to legally bound by such restrictions.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
Everyone needs assistance at different points in their lives, so we are all vulnerable to being manipulated at that time. In our greatest times of need, sometimes it is better to seek the assistance of strangers. Co-workers, friends, family, and especially exes may not really be helping us in a way that sees to our own best interests.
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