School is not just a place for purely academic courses such as Algebra and American Literature, but for courses and activities that promote useful skills. It is unfortunate then that so few classes teach today's youth how to behave optimally during vital events, whether social, business, or otherwise. This is surprising considering just how important these affairs can be in making or marking our progress. It's a good thing, then, that there are books on small talk.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
There are numerous circumstances in which conversational skills can make all the difference. One of the most obvious of these is dating, a broad area of life that includes not only actual dates but social occasions in which potential lovers might happen to be in attendance. This area also includes chance encounters in which time is limited, and in which it is imported just the right impression, and perhaps not one minute in which to make it.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life offers no shortage of situations which might advertise themselves as good, bubbly fun, but which are in truth seething with ambition, ego, and intrigue. An academic party can seem like innocent fun, unless one is an associate professor looking toward tenure. Ironically, one of the hallmarks of proving that one belongs in such a room is knowing how to converse and how not to.
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
It is rude not to talk to everybody, or at least a broad range of people. One must not fall into the habit saving one's newly found wit for those who will be useful. This way one gets not only invited to the right parties, but invited back.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
There are numerous circumstances in which conversational skills can make all the difference. One of the most obvious of these is dating, a broad area of life that includes not only actual dates but social occasions in which potential lovers might happen to be in attendance. This area also includes chance encounters in which time is limited, and in which it is imported just the right impression, and perhaps not one minute in which to make it.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life offers no shortage of situations which might advertise themselves as good, bubbly fun, but which are in truth seething with ambition, ego, and intrigue. An academic party can seem like innocent fun, unless one is an associate professor looking toward tenure. Ironically, one of the hallmarks of proving that one belongs in such a room is knowing how to converse and how not to.
It is important to avoid being coarse while trying to be witty, and it is important not to try too hard at being witty. Good conversation requires passing knowledge of several topics, but one mustn't become intemperate about any of them. The most important talent is the talent for liking people one encounters. For this there is no substitute.
It is rude not to talk to everybody, or at least a broad range of people. One must not fall into the habit saving one's newly found wit for those who will be useful. This way one gets not only invited to the right parties, but invited back.
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